Embrace the wisdom from our enriching session and continue to nurture your marriage journey
Setting the Scene: A Unified Community in Learning
Drawing from the successful marriage enrichment session held at Jurong Adventist Church, we now share the key insights and tips discussed. With the assistance of SAC Family Ministries and Focus on the Family Singapore, and featuring Joanna Koh, outgoing CEO of Focus on the Family Singapore, and her husband, Gary Koh, the event drew a diverse crowd. We were pleased to host 63 participants, including 28 couples and a few parents from Adventist Schoolhouse (ASH). The session was open not just to our congregation but to other communities as well, encouraging a broad exchange of ideas and experiences.
Redefining Conflict Management in Marriages
Conflict isn't a dead-end in marriages. Instead, it presents an opportunity for growth and deeper understanding. According to the Kohs,, successful conflict resolution starts with identifying and replacing the 'Four Horsemen', terms coined by Dr. John Gottman.
Here's how you can do it:
- Replace Criticism with a Gentle Start-Up: Express your feelings and needs without blame using 'I' statements.
- Cultivate a Culture of Appreciation: Regularly express gratitude, appreciating 'the small things often.'
- Take Personal Responsibility: Acknowledge your partner's perspective and offer an apology where needed.
- Practice Physiological Self-Soothing: When things get heated, take a break and distract yourself to cool down.
Expressing Healthy Sexuality in Marriage
Sexual wholeness encompasses more than just physical intimacy. It's about:
- Being secure in your sexual identity
- Building true intimacy beyond just the physical
- Experiencing authenticity in your relationship
The Kohs recommended the Personal Sexuality Checklist on the Focus on Family Singapore website, a confidential and anonymous tool, to gain insight into your current state of sexual well-being. Understanding your partner's sexual needs and response is crucial.
For men, sexual response can be spontaneous, while women often need emotional closeness and foreplay before sexual intimacy.
Meeting Your Partner's Emotional Needs
Great marriages don't happen by chance. They require work, intentional love, and meeting each other's emotional needs.
Referencing "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard Harley, the Kohs listed the top ten emotional needs of couples:
- Affection
- Sexual Fulfillment
- Conversation
- Companionship
- Honesty & Openness
- An Attractive Spouse
- Financial Support
- Domestic Support
- Family Commitment
- Admiration
Identifying and fulfilling these needs forms the bedrock of a resilient and loving marriage.
These invaluable insights stimulated profound discussions and allowed couples to reflect on their own communication patterns and mutual understanding.
Beyond the Event: The Continuity of Support
The journey to a stronger family doesn't end when the event does. To support ongoing growth, we extended an invitation to all participants for the future activities and programs of Jurong Adventist Church, such as Jkids worship, Children’s SS classes, Family Cell Groups, and family retreats. These initiatives offer a robust support system for all families, especially our guests from ASH, fostering continuous learning and community building.
Acknowledging Family Needs: Offering Childcare at Events
Recognising that family-friendly environments are crucial, we arranged childcare for children up to age 12 during the session. This initiative made possible with the support of teachers from ASH and youth from Jurong Adventist Church, reflects our commitment to creating an inclusive environment that respects the needs of all families.
Apply these marriage enrichment strategies today! Nurture a stronger, more resilient, and more joy-filled marriage. Stay tuned for more marriage enhancement events and activities by Jurong Adventist Church and the SAC Family Ministries.
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